Motherhood…. amazing, frustrating, downright tearful at times. This is a intimate blog that shares my motherhood experience as I take on new things one day at a time.
When you are a first time mom and people ask you…“So how is it going?”…
You reply with a simple “Wonderful – motherhood is a dream come true.” This isn’t a lie… but lets face it we’re all thinking of shouting “Its an ongoing rollercoaster!”
No one can ever truly prepare you for everything motherhood entails. When growing up in a small farm town in Canada I was reinforced with good values, a moral compass and a positive easy going spirit. These aspects have been helpful leading up to my current roll as a mom. I went to university, started my first real job, met my husband, got married, bought a house added two GIANT dogs to our family … and if that wasn’t chaotic enough now we’ve added a baby into the mix. We thought this would be a great little speed bump in our evenly paced life… its more like an ongoing construction site!
Throughout my whole pregnancy I was convinced that my due date was going to be the 21st of June… my ultrasounds predicted the due date as the 24th. Many people reminded me over and over again that first time moms are usually late. My husband would shake his head when people would ask the due date and I would reply, ” the 21st of June”. This year June was HOT and my pregnancy brought out the WEIRD in me… enjoying slurpees and tequitos in the bathtub and eating footlong veggie subs in bed were my two favourite pastimes.
June 21st finally rolled around – I remember at 1am going to the washroom for the MILLIONTH time and looking in the mirror. I pointed down at my belly with both hands and said very firmly…
“You are evicted – GET OUT – GET OUT – GET OUT!!!!”
I kid you not contractions started two hours later at 3am. As a first time mom – I didn’t realize they were contracts at first, they were faint; like I had tummy troubles. I had a nice hour long shower and then walked around my house. Cleo our female Newfoundland dog followed me around like a lost puppy dog – I assume she caught on sooner then I did. I clued in at around 5:30am when contractions were about 6 min apart and steady. I can not express to you in words how excited I was to wake my husband!
“I’m in labor”
Those 3 words are such a game changer in life – that’s the moment you realize you actually have to go through with pushing out this baby… well for me thats when reality kicked in. I have always been a tough girl – I’ve been thrown from a vehicle during a rollover – knees destroyed by dance – and worked on a construction crew during the summer when I wasn’t in school. I am not shy to physical pain by any means… but after 5 hours of steady contractions 4 min apart with back labor… I happily took the epidural. LADIES! let me tell you – that was the best choice I made that hospital visit.
Once the epidural did its work and I was ready to start pushing it was around 5:30pm and I knew he would be in my arms by supper time. Oliver was born at 6:02pm healthy and happy. Looking back at the moment he was born all I remember is the overwhelming feeling of love. Love so great that nothing has ever made my heart and life feel so full. The hardest thing I remember about my sons birth was not being able to look at his face for a full hour when he was first born because I immediately gave him skin to skin and he buried his precious little face into my chest. That was the longest hour of my life as all my husband could muster out of his mouth at first was…
“He looks just like your father…”
My only thought was “please don’t tell me my son looks like a 60 year old man”
My husband was extremely supportive throughout my hospital stay; we went in with little to no birth plan… we are the “wing it” kind of people. My baby was first fed by my husband as I had no milk production and we chose to formula feed. I think that was the most magical moment for me – to be able to sit there watching my husband feed Oliver; the smile my husband had was the largest I had ever seen.
The morning after… the first morning waking up after giving birth you feel like a mess. Your sweaty, sore and feel drained. Number one thing after giving birth is remember to stay on top of your Tylenol – me being the tough girl I am thought I needed none – let me save you the crazy amount of pain I put myself through… just take it! After staying in the hospital for about 18 hours we were asked if we would like the be discharged – we happily said yes.
The moment that yes came out of my mouth I remember instantly thinking, “ok… now it really begins.” The nurses gave us the usual paperwork to fill out and joked around with us – I think they could tell we were a bit nervous. Lets be honest who isn’t nervous or a little hesitant of leaving the hospital with their first born.
“Ready to go?… “
Those words have never sounded so sweet yet so nerve-wracking and held so much weight.
My husband being a gentlemen left Oliver and I at the door so he could bring up the car. My heart was pounding so hard I could hear and feel the beat in my ear drums when I placed the bucket seat in the car for the first time with a baby inside. My eyes were glued on Oliver for the entire car ride home; my poor husband had to endure some hardcore back seat driving. I feel like every 5 minutes I was asking him to slow down – even though he was already going under the speed limit.
We drove into the drive way and my husband put the car in park; looked back at me in the rearview mirror, raised his eyebrows and said …
“and then there were three…”
And now there will always be three; having one more along for life’s adventure is going to be the rollercoaster of a lifetime.
Cheers to motherhood!